it's been about a year since the last actual blog post here, and i've realized that blogging about how you never blog has really become a cultural norm of the internet age.  i think it must be mandatory that anyone who has a blog and is not paid to write in it must regularly address the fact that they ignore their blog.  and so, after again falling into the same trap, we will move on.

what a year! i must first say that the cliff-hanger you were so poetically left with worked out great and my residency year with teach/here is drawing to a close.  i've been in a local middle school since last august teaching, shadowing, and learning, and the process to begin finding our real teacher homes is underway.  it's hard to believe the graduate hooding ceremony is only a few weeks away.  secondly, and mostly as a result of the first thing, i've been super busy as a full-time graduate student and living the life of a full-time teacher.  thankfully, alissa is an incredible and understanding woman.

thirdly, said incredible and understanding woman just so happens to be pregnant with our first child!  getting to go to her pre-natal appointments and hear the frantic heartbeat and see the images of the new life growing inside her has been amazing.  not to mention, watching her body change to make room for the baby.  (where'd that stomach go? yikes!) our roommate moved out to her own little place nearby, and we've been starting to try to prepare ourselves and our house for babydom.

other milestones include: the death of the minivan, the purchasing of our first car (which we won't really own for four more years), lots of wonderful time spent together, and some fun trips.

speaking of which, spring break was this past week, and we just got back from perhaps our last pre-baby vacation.  for our anniversary last year, we went to hilton head, south carolina to spend some time at the beach since we went to the mountains the first year (we trade) and we liked the area so much we decided to go back to the nearby small town of beaufort.  it was a great chance to get away, breathe deep, and relax.  we mostly hung around the park by the bay taking naps, playing cards, or visiting shops, but we also stopped by a couple beaches, alissa took me to my first drive-in movie, and we visited the nearby kazoo factory and museum for a tour.  (we quickly found out it was more of an assembly table and less of a factory, but it was still fun).  we got back thursday, just in time for our yearly passover dinner and all the fun of easter weekend.  a relaxing picture from a relaxing trip:

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yesterday was my interview day for teach/here. i was at a local middle school from 8am until 2pm being rated (all day people were referring to the "raiders" and it took me half of the day to figure out they were actually saying "raters." a good sign for a hopeful teacher? you be the judge.) during the day, i taught a short lesson to class full of 8th graders, wrote an essay about the impact a teacher's attitude has on their students, participated in a group role-playing/problem-solving activity and was interviewed twice. they also fed us breakfast and lunch and had a panel discussion with the current residents. (if this is new to you, teach/here is a program that would allow me to obtain a master's in education at no cost, place me with a mentor teacher for a year to get useful hands-on experience, place me in a classroom for the next four years and pay me the whole time. it's pretty awesome. the people in the program are called residents.) after all of that, i came out feeling much better than i ever expected to. especially after shaking all morning and barely being able to force myself to eat breakfast. this a huge opportunity for us, and the hugeness could not be understated.

there were some positive signs throughout the day, but i'm weary to let myself get too excited. i'll find out on the 11th if i made it. one week, three days. this decision could be one of the most impactful things that ever happens in my life. please pray.

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(obviously, i will never fully catch up on back-posts. new things just keep on happening.)

Dust

most days i think there is nothing i would rather like than a new job. i can feel in my innermost being that i am not in the right place. which gets me thinking about what is the right place. what was i made to do? i have a lot of interests, which makes it difficult sometimes to see what my true gifts are. because i can sew, but not like a tailor or a seamstress. and i can build, but not like a carpenter. however, from each of these things i get satisfaction, and i would do any of them on a day off and enjoy it. oftentimes i feel two pulls on my life. one to do work with my hands and one to be relational with others. and when i do both, i feel alive.

in genesis, when the consequences of the fall are laid out, God says to adam,

"cursed is the ground because of you;

in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;

thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;

and you shall eat the plants of the field.

By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread,

till you return to the ground,

for out of it you were taken;

for you are dust,

and to dust you shall return."   - [genesis 3:17b-19]

and from that point on humans, perhaps specifically men were called to labor for their livelihood. "by the sweat of your face shall you eat bread." this sweat is the thing i feel like i yearn for. the labors we were called to were simple labors, necessary labors. growing food, making bread. the labors that enable us to sustain ourselves and our families. i feel like at my core i long for the ability to do these labors and not have to worry about pay or money. i feel like life should be simpler than that. I want to be able to cook and bake for people, clean, or build a chair or a table in exchange for a place to live. i feel like i need my time to be spent in sweat to be true to who i was created to be, and who i became after the fall. just as i know my wife pines deeply for the opportunity to be a mother (part of her role as described in genesis 3).

i suppose, to be more concise, i have recently begun to more strongly feel my connection with the dust from which i came. i feel my body's desire to be a part of that dust, and to follow in my Father's footsteps, molding it into the things that sustain life. to me, this seems paramount. and regardless of whether i find it in a job, i need a job that will allow me to partake in dust.

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Buttermilk Wheat Bread

so tonight there was a congregational meeting at our church which is always accompanied by a dinner. tonight they asked people to bring a pot of soup or some cornbread or rolls to share. soup and bread, my favorites! i decided i would try and get some buttermilk wheat pull-apart rolls turned out in time for the meeting, so i came home from work and got a double batch of dough started with some instant yeast since i wouldn't have time to let it rise twice anyway. well, it became apparent to me that i didn't have time even for a short rise and then since i was rushing so fast, i accidentally poured in one and a half times the amount of salt that was called for in the recipe. so, seeing that there was no way to be done for the meeting and not wanting to eat a salt lick, i mixed up another single batch of dough with no salt and kneaded them all together (not recommended, it was very difficult!) luckily the dough that had been sitting out was cooler than the one i had just made so i could tell it was adequately kneaded when the temperature evened out. all that to say, i let it rise while we were at the meeting, proofed it when we got home and pulled out four big loaves of buttermilk wheat just before midnight. a delicious mis-judgement of time. and the salt was just right.

Curried Lentil and Brown Rice Soup

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Snow Day

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i have kind of a backlog of posts to write up, thoughts i've wanted to write out but havn't felt like i've had the chance. things seem so busy because work is so draining, so when it's over i just feel the need to relax with alissa. and although absolutely no one reads this, i think it would still be good for me to write them out to help in processing. perhaps i can encourage myself to do that soon. also, cooking has continued to become a larger and larger part of who i am. it's replaced art and music in a way since it's necessary, i can use my creativity, and i get to share what i have done with the people i love. so, i've been thinking about posting recipes as a way to express myself and also not forget what i did, because it's usually on the fly. i suppose all i'm saying is there might be a lot of posts in rapid succession, but they didn't all happen at the same time. i don't know why i that's important to have made known. i guess i'm just a fan of full disclosure?

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