it's been about a year since the last actual blog post here, and i've realized that blogging about how you never blog has really become a cultural norm of the internet age.  i think it must be mandatory that anyone who has a blog and is not paid to write in it must regularly address the fact that they ignore their blog.  and so, after again falling into the same trap, we will move on.

what a year! i must first say that the cliff-hanger you were so poetically left with worked out great and my residency year with teach/here is drawing to a close.  i've been in a local middle school since last august teaching, shadowing, and learning, and the process to begin finding our real teacher homes is underway.  it's hard to believe the graduate hooding ceremony is only a few weeks away.  secondly, and mostly as a result of the first thing, i've been super busy as a full-time graduate student and living the life of a full-time teacher.  thankfully, alissa is an incredible and understanding woman.

thirdly, said incredible and understanding woman just so happens to be pregnant with our first child!  getting to go to her pre-natal appointments and hear the frantic heartbeat and see the images of the new life growing inside her has been amazing.  not to mention, watching her body change to make room for the baby.  (where'd that stomach go? yikes!) our roommate moved out to her own little place nearby, and we've been starting to try to prepare ourselves and our house for babydom.

other milestones include: the death of the minivan, the purchasing of our first car (which we won't really own for four more years), lots of wonderful time spent together, and some fun trips.

speaking of which, spring break was this past week, and we just got back from perhaps our last pre-baby vacation.  for our anniversary last year, we went to hilton head, south carolina to spend some time at the beach since we went to the mountains the first year (we trade) and we liked the area so much we decided to go back to the nearby small town of beaufort.  it was a great chance to get away, breathe deep, and relax.  we mostly hung around the park by the bay taking naps, playing cards, or visiting shops, but we also stopped by a couple beaches, alissa took me to my first drive-in movie, and we visited the nearby kazoo factory and museum for a tour.  (we quickly found out it was more of an assembly table and less of a factory, but it was still fun).  we got back thursday, just in time for our yearly passover dinner and all the fun of easter weekend.  a relaxing picture from a relaxing trip:

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yesterday was my interview day for teach/here. i was at a local middle school from 8am until 2pm being rated (all day people were referring to the "raiders" and it took me half of the day to figure out they were actually saying "raters." a good sign for a hopeful teacher? you be the judge.) during the day, i taught a short lesson to class full of 8th graders, wrote an essay about the impact a teacher's attitude has on their students, participated in a group role-playing/problem-solving activity and was interviewed twice. they also fed us breakfast and lunch and had a panel discussion with the current residents. (if this is new to you, teach/here is a program that would allow me to obtain a master's in education at no cost, place me with a mentor teacher for a year to get useful hands-on experience, place me in a classroom for the next four years and pay me the whole time. it's pretty awesome. the people in the program are called residents.) after all of that, i came out feeling much better than i ever expected to. especially after shaking all morning and barely being able to force myself to eat breakfast. this a huge opportunity for us, and the hugeness could not be understated.

there were some positive signs throughout the day, but i'm weary to let myself get too excited. i'll find out on the 11th if i made it. one week, three days. this decision could be one of the most impactful things that ever happens in my life. please pray.

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(obviously, i will never fully catch up on back-posts. new things just keep on happening.)

Snow Day

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i have kind of a backlog of posts to write up, thoughts i've wanted to write out but havn't felt like i've had the chance. things seem so busy because work is so draining, so when it's over i just feel the need to relax with alissa. and although absolutely no one reads this, i think it would still be good for me to write them out to help in processing. perhaps i can encourage myself to do that soon. also, cooking has continued to become a larger and larger part of who i am. it's replaced art and music in a way since it's necessary, i can use my creativity, and i get to share what i have done with the people i love. so, i've been thinking about posting recipes as a way to express myself and also not forget what i did, because it's usually on the fly. i suppose all i'm saying is there might be a lot of posts in rapid succession, but they didn't all happen at the same time. i don't know why i that's important to have made known. i guess i'm just a fan of full disclosure?

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i've been at the orange grove center for a while, and i know it's not the place for me. i've decided it's time to do something about that. i've needed to look hard at what it is i want to do for a while but it's really hard to pin something down, and after sending out all those resumes last winter with no response, it's pretty daunting to prepare myself to do it again. for now, i think i've decided to look for a way to mentor as a profession.  i love students and it would be awesome to get paid to care for them. there are many ways to do this i'm sure, but i've been especially interested in the opportunities teaching would afford me lately. so, i filled out an application with an organization called teach/here. through them, i would be able to get a master's in education from the university of tennessee, knoxville while staying in chattanooga and after teaching for four years, the tuition would be completely forgiven. in addition, i would be an apprentice teacher, so to speak, and would have access to lots of help as i started my teaching career. it's a wonderful opportunity, but only 18 will get in between both knoxville and chattanooga, so we'll see what happens.

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new home. and it is such a relief.

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for the longest time i haven't had the chance to write here because things really have been that crazy. for a long time i didn't have any job. then i got one working for a pizza place. the hours were awful and the management was worse. i never saw alissa and i never had a free moment. then i got another (better) offer and was going to keep both but the manager i talked to and had cleared it with decided suddenly he changed his mind, so i had to quit or i'd be fired the next morning for not showing up. so i now have a job, and have since mid-march. i work as a teacher assistant at a school for students with intellectual disabilities. the thing is, i never set out to be a teacher or to work in special education; both of which just so happen to be the family business on my mom's side of the family. and even though i don't think this place is the best fit for me, its funny how some things seem to be inside you that need no nourishing. our families give us good things that we are blessed with, and bad things that we must fight against our whole lives. the pull of genetics is strong and mysterious.

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on december 30th, right before the new year, i reinvented myself. i changed my name, officially, to andrew monte browning-couch. it's been interesting trying to remember to put it on things especially as i fill out lots and lots of job applications. i even had to practice a new signature so that i wouldn't do the old one automatically when i sign a receipt or important paper work. i like me new signature and i like my new name. it's like alissa and i are officially, finally a real family; we share a name.

i was going to write something thoughtful and probing about the importance of names how they affect our views of ourselves. i even saved the first sentence of this post to finish later; but, honestly, right now talking about my signature is way more interesting.

a picture from the honeymoon:

(the browning-couches after a lot of walking in san francisco)

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a lot of things have been wearing me down lately, and every so often the decision to merely get up and take part in life is unattractive. but i can easily say i am glad for my wife each and every day, without waver or doubt. she is the greatest gift i could have ever received; and i am far more lucky to have her than i deserve. i love her.

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instead of taking on the impossible task of retelling everything in detail, i'll just tell you that it was awesome and continues to be awesome. i love being married to alissa.

currently, i am looking for a job. i spent today driving around town stopping at social service organizations and dropping off resumes. most people aren't hiring, but if i'm going to have to apply for a just-to-get-by job i'd like to know that someone has my resume and is going to pretend to call me if something comes up. BUT (!) there is hope. the partnership for families, children and adults (or everyone, as alissa and i like to call it) asked if i would like to interview for a case worker position. of course i said "yes." we will see what happens next!

(there's a guy from the utc library standing behind us right now waiting for us to leave... creepy)

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that trip was crazy.  i can honestly say i love riding the train, and i hate riding the bus.  the two are probably polar extremes on my list of travel options. so,  after all that and a week in pine ridge of alissa saying good-bye (which you can read about on alissa's blog) we started our long car trip back to tennessee which included a two night stop in minneapolis where we stayed with my friend kari a one night stop in decatur where we stayed with alissa's old family friends the weis' a few day rest in logan a weekend with sarah in d.c. a week in logan where i said good-bye a dinner date with my great-uncle in charleston a bought with the swine flu (yes the swine flu) and a car trip back to murfreesboro (which would look something like this if one were to put it into google maps... not that i have the time for that sort of thing these days...)  one of the weirdest things for me since i've been out of logan has been how ridiculously wide the streets are everywhere that's not logan. here's a good shot of high street, a typical two way road in logan:

odd, yes, but true. (more seriously, it was sad to leave, but i feel like this post is just for catching up, so ill save that for later.)

since we've been back, a lot has been happening.  our time has been filled to the brim with errands.  we haven't really done a full-day or even a half-day activity since we got here. everything we do takes half an hour, max.  it's a strange life. wedding planing sometimes gets stressful, not because of the wedding, but because of people's expectations of us. we'll be taking our first house-hunting, job-seeking trip to chattanooga this week, and i'm really excited about that, it makes everything seem a little closer.

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as i have been diligently ignoring the fact that i have a blog, many things have been happening. the most in my face one being that i only have a few weeks left in logan, west virginia. it seems weird but true nonetheless. this friday (a week from today) i am hopping on a train and going to get my lovely bride-to-be from south dakota via jess's wedding in chicago. and when we get back east of the mississippi, she'll be helping me to move out of new covenant and we'll be driving back to murfreesboro to live in the same town for the couple months before we get married. it's going to be incredible to have my very best friend at my fingertips; to be able to call her on the phone with the objective of spending time together in person; to be able to just watch her exist in front of me; to see her more often than once every few months. it's sad to be leaving logan but there are many many people who were there long before me and will be there long after me who will be continuing the work they started a long time ago, and let me join with them in for a short while. alissa and i are still trying to discern where it is we will be moving after the wedding, but it's really not that important right now (although some may think otherwise) we have lots of time. and the only thing that matters to us is that wherever we are, we'll have eachother.

one of the hardest things for us right now is the thought that what we're doing (moving to tennessee for a couple months before the wedding) seems almost selfish. it's the first major action either of us has taken in a while that's only for oursleves. this move is for our good, and the good of our relationship. and at the same time we are both leaving places where we (at least try) to exist everyday for other people. we talked about this today and i think the weird thing is that our move is for another, and in these upcoming months we will be learning more than ever how to exist for another: our spouse. it's going to take a mental shift to remember that a calling to love your spouse is a calling to love another, and maybe more than any other relationship it is a call to selflessness; an exodus out of selfishness, the thing that we both desire; this is a prime way to experience and grow in it. the problem is that i can't help but enjoy the benefit i receive from loving my almost-wife better, and therefore i have to fight the thought that this is a selfish desire. i have to fight the presumption that giving is always a burden and never a joy, and that i should somehow be more sad about pouring love into my wife. (thirteen weeks, five days!)

please pray for us as we work to let Christ change our mindsets and our priorities, and as we continue to seek His guidance and direction.

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it's a crazy world we live in.  for weeks only a few small green shoots were brave enough to try their hardest to break through the bare brown forests covering the mountainsides.  the creek banks were empty and you could see straight through the trees to the composting leaves and branches below.  then in about 5 days, seemingly overnight really, the mountains exploded.  there is not one tree in sight who has yet to put on its new spring outfit and the milkweed on the banks of the creeks and rivers is all of a sudden 5 feet tall or greater.  once again i am surrounded by walls of green.  i have missed it.  thats about as close as i can figure to what God was talking about when He spoke though isaiah saying,

"[12] For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands." - [isaiah 55:12]

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last wednesday, i got a call that woke me up (which isn't very out of the ordinary since i live my life on mountain time right now).  lisa told me that caitlin(one of the youth)'s mom was in the hospital with a very bad infection and the doctors said it didn't look good; she asked me to pray.  so i did, and then hurried over to the hospital to be with caitlin and her family.  my plans for the day were much different on tuesday, but i spent the day there with youth as some left school early, some came after, and one never went. we sat, we prayed, we waited, and we left every once in a while to get some air.  it was great to see such a throng of people there to support caitlin and her family.  all day people came and left, and some stayed.  at about 6:20 caitlin lost her mom to the disease.  the funeral was yesterday and again so many people came to support the family.  of course it was hard for her, but caitlin said over and over, praying out loud, "it's okay God, if you want her you can take her," confident because her mom was a Christian.  it reminded me of the quiet strength i saw in aaron as he sat in the hospital waiting for his surgery.  if God keeps raising up kids with faith like that, we'll all be in good hands.

i can't imagine what that day must have been like for caitlin. in my mind it plays like a movie montage.  when she went to sleep, everything was fine, but she was woken up early by the labored breathing of her mom and suddenly everything moves so fast.  from the home to the ambulance to the hospital to the failed surgery attempt to remove the infection to the critical care unit until 6:20 when suddenly everything stopped.  when she went to sleep all was well. but so much can happen in a day.

caitlin is doing VERY well considering the circumstances.  so many people are doing everything they can for her.  please pray for her and for those who are ministering to her and her family right now. THANKS!

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a lot has been happening and this blog has fallen by the wayside. (sorry blog)

first of all you might be interested to know that i'm engaged! (even though every person who reads this already knows that, but i feel like the internet world as a whole should know, too) alissa and i are getting married in october and i am VERY excited.

she was here for a little bit in december and january and we also made a trip back to tennessee then. i started a job with the after school program at nearby omar elementary teaching 3rd and 4th graders about water. i got to go to south dakota to visit my wonderful wife-to-be a couple weeks ago and we had a lot of fun. i've been tutoring this guy in english (surprising, right?) and math. and i'm still going to meetings every month. in other words, life is much more exciting nowadays than it was in the fall. God has provided me with lots to do all of a sudden and people to share life with. He's also been growing the relationships i've had with some of the youth and with joey from church. it's like all of a sudden He opened a window and started dropping joys down on me.

logan itself isn't doing quite as well right now. there have been quite a few structure fires in the last month; some fatal, some not; some accidental, some not. and it seems as though there have been an extreme bump in teen (and one pre-teen) pregnancies. but along with these and all the normalities of southern west virginia, there is hope and it is rising. the secretary at the church i go to and a woman from another area church have started a branch of the goshen project here in town. this is a group that sends backpacks full of food home with students who qualify for free or reduced lunch over the weekend; three meals a day. this is incredibly needed in an area where many kids go without proper meals unless it's a school day. the problem is there are so many kids to feed! they started with 6 students this year and have been asked to expand to at least 30 next year. they are in dire need of supplies/money and helpers. please pray for them (missy and elizabeth) as they undertake this huge responsibility. also, the salvation army is starting a new youth group, and a few community organizations have new directors ready to jump in and get things moving.

no that we've caught up, this weekend was wonderful, and much appreciated. friday i got to hang out with a bunch of the high school boys from youth group, we hung out and played some basketball at a neighborhood court. saturday i headed up to charleston for the state high school poetry reading finals. no one from logan was participating but it was great to see a group of students doing a great job at a positive thing. i had lunch at the farmer's market, stopped by a local bakery, and hung out at a downtown bookstore for ages. then on my way home i treated myself to a nice dinner. it was a lovely day. then yesterday, church was very good. the people who work with the youth group got together afterward and prayed together. i invited joey over to have some fresh soup and share the huge sourdough loaf i had bought saturday. we hung out for the after noon and some kids from kids club stopped by and we played four-square and uno until they had to go home. like i said, a great weekend.

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so much has been happening since the end of october.  in case you didn't notice, you haven't received a newsletter yet.  God has been doing a lot of things and, as a result,  the information wasn't exactly relevant anymore.  i have a pretty big imagination.  God has blessed me with it, and i love to use it to try and figure out what God may want to do with me in the places He's brought me.  this is wonderful, but sometimes i think i forget one of the most central attributes of God's work on this earth: smallness.  philippians says that Jesus did not count His equality with God something to be grasped, but instead laid it aside in order to become nothing, that in doing so, He could serve, and through His intentional smallness, would be later exalted [philippians 2:5-11].  and Jesus, when His disciples were fighting and bickering about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven,  said to them,

"[42] You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. [43] But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, [44] and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. [45] For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

- [mark 10:42-45]

that's not to mention the old testament passages about the remnant, the parables of the mustard seed and the growing seed, or the many other places (in parable or not) where God is talked about as preferring to start small. i usually tend to think of the mustard tree rather than the mustard seed; celebrating the awesomeness of the fruition of the plan i see God laying in my heart, but forgetting that the first step is always a small one. but from these small seeds, God brings forth 30, 60 or even 100 times the crop we have come to expect from such a humble beginning.

you'll probably get an update someday, but i can't promise i know what will be in it.

[cheesy transition alert!] in other news, [told you...] the ccda conference was wonderful. here's a picture from the airplane to hold you over...

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(*sorry, i accidentally deleted these photos off of flickr, so you'll just have to use your imagination... whoops!)

this morning i woke up to the sounds of a rousing rendition of the song 'low rider.'  i immediately thought, 'whoa... how late did i sleep in' (knowing that the logan high school marching band doesn't usually practice outside until the afternoon), but i looked at the clock and sure enough it was only coming up on 9:30.  so i went outside to see what was going on and they were set-up downtown playing, in uniform.  i went down to see what was going on and found myself in the middle of a growing group of state bureaucrats.  the governor was in town and they were dedicating the empty lot of the old pioneer hotel to the state for the construction of a new 5-story office building.  the band played a diverse assortment of songs until the speeches started including things like 'my girl,' 'the hey song,' 'the theme from blues brothers,' the school fight song, and 'ain't no mountain high enough.'  it was pretty entertaining in the context of a governor's speech.  after they played, by all witnessed accounts, the band did not care at all what any of the politicians had to say, they waited patiently for it to end and gave one final song.  i know a lot of kids in the marching band so it was fun to see them all down there.  most of them saw me and waved.  nu-era (the greatest doughnut manufacturers in the world) supplied some of their wares for the occasion, so after the festivities i served as the breakfast foods liaison to the marching band and supplied them with the energy to go back to school.  (i guess they had been told they weren't allowed to take the doughnuts themselves by the band director).  the speeches were actually pretty interesting.

you may recognize the site of the new building from a few months ago. this is the tent that was set-up today...

...and this is the same lot during the freedom festival. yes, that's the tiger cage.  and although the lot was full of politicians today, it wasn't as much of a circus as it was that day in july. (plus joe never jumped through any hoops in order to get a "meat treat." although if you want to carry that on into the figurative world, i'm sure there's some kind of connection.)  npr was there also, taking pictures and recording the speeches.  i asked the photographer and he said they were from d.c and were covering the election someway or another and they picked logan (?) i don't know what they're doing but i guess joe and logan could end up on the national news.

and interesting way to start the day.

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kelly and heather, the new youthworks area and regional directors over west virginia left today.  they were here for a few days getting acquainted with their new sites and their new friends.  it was nice to get to know them better and to be able to show them around logan and mingo counties, introducing them to some of my friends who they would be working with.  through the weekend i was reminded of a few things that i have learned: (1) God takes time; His own sweet, perfect time.  and usually my american-bred self doesn't like that. luckily, i have a new identity now which has a fundamental characteristic of patience.  (if only i could remind myself of that more often).  i'm not sure exactly what all the necessary steps are going to be to get to the ultimate vision God has given me for logan, but i know that they will take time and that there are worse things that could happen. my plans are always changing, but there is only one way that is right, that i am seeking [prov. 16:9]. (1b) being alone, i have to always be on guard against falling into apathy or indifference. when times are tough (or in most cases just repetitive), apathy does not equal patience. God is a God of action even though action sometimes consists of a quiet stillness, or a crying out to God (something i have have not been brought up or socialized to appreciate) [1 sam. 7:8, psalm 34:17, psalm 57:2]. (2) the Church is beautiful.  seeing it work together for the good of the Kingdom is amazing, and i'm glad i got to see people this weekend so willing to help the Church.  God brought so many improbable events together to help kelly and heather meet the people they needed to meet, and everyone seemed excited about being a part of this weird thing called the Church [ephesians 1:15-23, 4:1-7]. (3) God is good and life is simple.  not easy, but simple.  things get hard and motivation waxes and wanes with the circumstances, but God is always good.  and life is about responding to Him [acts 20:18-24].

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(newsletters are going out, check your mail.  i noticed, however, while i was writing them that many of you are pretty unacquainted with what exactly is going on. so expect a photo tour soon!)

things are just trucking along, and seeing as how i'm not sure how fast that truck is supposed to be going, it seems pretty good to me.  i am delving into some crazy legal documents to learn about becoming an unincorporated non-profit association. and honing in on a real schedule and curriculum for a camp this summer.  there are a lot of loose ends, and lots of things that will take a long time to complete (like applying for 501(c)3 status, which they say could take up to 12 months or longer!) but, God is so good.  please pray that i would be able to continually yield control of the journey to Him, because i know that He will get it done in the time it needs to be completed.  i'm just trusting in His timing right now.

in the mean time, if anyone knows a nice lawyer who wants to do some pro bono work for a guy in west virginia (namely, me...) let me know!

i'll be trying to send out a newsletter at the beginning of october, so keep an eye out for it.

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(the trees are starting to change colors and i am so excited that it's fall!)

things got really crazy toward the end of the summer and i feel like i'm just now catching up (finally!) at the beginning of august, john came for a visit! it was so good (and relaxing) to have him here for the weekend. the youthworks staff left to go back to their normal lives, but i followed them up to pittsburgh to help with the end of summer retreat and hang out with jess and belinda (area and regional directors over west virginia) before they went off on their new adventures as well. right after that, i drove over to canton to visit for a day and came back home to logan. i wasn't even here for a week before i got a late-night phone call from alissa that hayden carter (one of the boys from the small group i co-led in murfreesboro, and a friend as close as a little brother) had died suddenly in a car wreck. the next morning i drove down there to spend the week with friends and family. after the weekend of the funeral, alissa came up to visit for a few days. this last week was the first in a while i might describe as "normal" (maybe... if there is such a thing!)
in the midst of all of this chaos (including many hard days and hard nights) God has been so faithful. one night last week i felt like i should give up on just about everything, maybe move somewhere else and not tell anybody where. it was awful. but from every broken seed, God brings beautiful growth; and the next day, He blew new breath into me and showed me part of His vision for logan.
so, right now, i'm working on the details of an arts-based summer camp/workshop (or to avoid the community-center fiasco, lets just call it a "thing"!) to provide under-served students in logan with an outlet for all the awful things our society has thrown onto them. i believe that the arts are healing (they have been for me, and many others i know); and that, as God is the Creator, we also, being made in His image, are to be creators and not destroyers. (it's good for you, try it!) as usual, i really don't know what this is going to look like. but, i'm trying to get in contact with some people who are doing similar things around the country to get some basics down. please pray that God would continue to speak about His desires for logan and the students here. please pray that He would send workers when the time is right (and, of course, funds...). and PLEASE keep praying for hayden's family and friends.

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