The Doorknob

as we sat in the church sunday afternoon during the visitation hours for caitlin's mom, dr. don, one of the pastor's at new covenant, pointed out to matt, who was sitting next to me, the doorknob on a stained glass window depicting Jesus knocking at a door.  "there's not supposed to be a doorknob there," he said.

the picture in question is from revelation 3, the letter to the church in laodicea.  Jesus says,

"[20]Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me"

doc says the doorknob shouldn't be there because it is up to the tenant to open the door, Jesus can't enter without us asking Him in.  it's true we must ask Him in, but i wonder if He can't or if He just won't come in until we let Him.  i didn't say anything about it, because this is a completely unimportant matter of opinion based on personal interpretation of the Bible, but it got me thinking about the whole doorknob thing.  (i guess i should have told you that at the beginning so you could have avoided reading this... oh well.)  just as miracles occur when God decides to break the laws of nature that He set into place (or in other words, He can always make axe heads float and multiply a healthy-sized lunch into a feast for thousands, but He chooses to not do that stuff everyday), i don't think God forces us to "love" Him or be in a relationship with Him. instead, i think He allows us to let Him in even though, being God, He could probably get in regardless.  to me, love isn't really love unless you had a choice to not love in the first place.

i have heard people say in regards to this verse that God is the perfect gentleman; He will not come in uninvited.  i think that's true, no matter how many doorknobs there are.

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last wednesday, i got a call that woke me up (which isn't very out of the ordinary since i live my life on mountain time right now).  lisa told me that caitlin(one of the youth)'s mom was in the hospital with a very bad infection and the doctors said it didn't look good; she asked me to pray.  so i did, and then hurried over to the hospital to be with caitlin and her family.  my plans for the day were much different on tuesday, but i spent the day there with youth as some left school early, some came after, and one never went. we sat, we prayed, we waited, and we left every once in a while to get some air.  it was great to see such a throng of people there to support caitlin and her family.  all day people came and left, and some stayed.  at about 6:20 caitlin lost her mom to the disease.  the funeral was yesterday and again so many people came to support the family.  of course it was hard for her, but caitlin said over and over, praying out loud, "it's okay God, if you want her you can take her," confident because her mom was a Christian.  it reminded me of the quiet strength i saw in aaron as he sat in the hospital waiting for his surgery.  if God keeps raising up kids with faith like that, we'll all be in good hands.

i can't imagine what that day must have been like for caitlin. in my mind it plays like a movie montage.  when she went to sleep, everything was fine, but she was woken up early by the labored breathing of her mom and suddenly everything moves so fast.  from the home to the ambulance to the hospital to the failed surgery attempt to remove the infection to the critical care unit until 6:20 when suddenly everything stopped.  when she went to sleep all was well. but so much can happen in a day.

caitlin is doing VERY well considering the circumstances.  so many people are doing everything they can for her.  please pray for her and for those who are ministering to her and her family right now. THANKS!

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Partially Purified

sometimes i wonder if i ask God to purify me with His Holy fire only to wake up screaming for someone to put the fire out.

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