Church life

the other week, i was sitting in church and thinking, "is this what church is really supposed to be like?" i mean, it's good... but it's not great. (as usual, my observation comes not only from my present situation, but from all my experiences. read: it's not just this church)

in the book of acts, the church had a reputation (a good reputation). people joined not only because they recieved a life-changing message of hope, but they were also joining because they saw something they wanted to be a part of. we've all heard this before: people should see Christ shining through you and come ask what's so different about you, etc, etc... but we grossly miss the point. we think walking around with a smile on your face the whole day long will make people come talk to you, that whistling while you work will save somebody's soul. my experience shows that no one will see you walking with your smile because no body likes to make eye contact and people will probably beat you up for being annoying if you continue to whilstle incessantly ("dude, they asked you to stop." "oh they just need the love of Jesus, i'll whistle louder!" "they're going to hit you if you don't stop" "blessed are you if you're persecuted for righteousness, right?" ...POW!) you're not a saint, you're just a jerk who wouldn't stop whistling.

facetiousness aside, the early Church was magnetic, because of the community that they shared, not the actions they performed. true, they did stuff, but the motives behind their actions were to communally share life with all of God's children. they got together daily to enjoy eachother's company (crazy talk, i know) they sang together, prayed together, studied together and ate together. they "held all things in common," sharing all that they had and selling what they couldn't share so they could share the money they made. it says they went to worship together and ate together and by doing BOTH of these things they received their food with glad and generous hearts ('man does not live on bread alone, but on every Word that flows from God's mouth [matthew 4:4]' - Jesus, the Bread of Life). and THEN it says, they were held in favor by all people, and God added to their numbers every day. [acts 2:42-47]

when they started a 'program' it was for the sake of those whom they were serving, not for the glory of the congregation. in chapter six it says they realized some people were being overlooked in the DAILY distribution of resources, so to make sure they serves all those who needed served, they appointed seven people to head up their 'feeding program' so the apostles could continue to teach, because all gifts are equally important inside the Church. they didn't stop teaching to start "serving tables," but they didn't give up feeding people either because they thought teaching was more important. they made sure there was a place for every gift of the Spirit (teaching, preaching, feeding, administrating, prophesying, hospitality, prayer, etc.)

and this, finally, is what i think we're missing so much of today. our church services are full of teaching and preaching. the sermon is the crux of the sunday service, it's hard for most of us to imagine going without one. and then our weeks are filled with Bible studies, one for this group, one for that group, etc. don't get me wrong now, these things are good. but somewhere somebody decided that the gifts of preching and teaching trumped all others and should be given special attention. (granted in 1 corinthians 12, paul puts a few of the gifts in an order of significance, but his intended goal was only to show that speaking in tongues was not the most desirable of these gifts. but even so, the first on the list are apostles (which is most commonly accepted to mean a missionary who 'charts new land,' an ambassador for the Gospel, in other words) and then he puts prophets second, and teaching doesn't even come until third.) teaching and preaching are important. after all, we need to make sure that everyone is on the same page as far as what is necessary for salvation and what is purely preferential doctrine (what much of the new testament is about), new Christians need to know all about their new faith, and it's always cool to learn something new about the greek words used, but we mostly decide to forget about all the other stuff. because mostly the other stuff all deals with really caring for others.

what if we ate a meal together every sunday? what if it was home-made? what if intentially, willingly spent time together every day? what if we shared a meal everyday? what if we helped each other pay our rents when times were tough? what if we shared a rent or a house payment because we shared a house? what if our church 'family' was really a family; really a group of people we felt deeply connected to? would others want what you have then? do they want the loneliness of the rugged american individualism you have now?

the Church should be a (daily) celebration of togetherness. a celebration of our common roots (redemption from sin) our common lives (humbly walking with our God) and our common futures (eternal Communion). what are we doing to achieve this? where is our desire to achieve this?

::

so much has been happening since the end of october.  in case you didn't notice, you haven't received a newsletter yet.  God has been doing a lot of things and, as a result,  the information wasn't exactly relevant anymore.  i have a pretty big imagination.  God has blessed me with it, and i love to use it to try and figure out what God may want to do with me in the places He's brought me.  this is wonderful, but sometimes i think i forget one of the most central attributes of God's work on this earth: smallness.  philippians says that Jesus did not count His equality with God something to be grasped, but instead laid it aside in order to become nothing, that in doing so, He could serve, and through His intentional smallness, would be later exalted [philippians 2:5-11].  and Jesus, when His disciples were fighting and bickering about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven,  said to them,

"[42] You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. [43] But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, [44] and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. [45] For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

- [mark 10:42-45]

that's not to mention the old testament passages about the remnant, the parables of the mustard seed and the growing seed, or the many other places (in parable or not) where God is talked about as preferring to start small. i usually tend to think of the mustard tree rather than the mustard seed; celebrating the awesomeness of the fruition of the plan i see God laying in my heart, but forgetting that the first step is always a small one. but from these small seeds, God brings forth 30, 60 or even 100 times the crop we have come to expect from such a humble beginning.

you'll probably get an update someday, but i can't promise i know what will be in it.

[cheesy transition alert!] in other news, [told you...] the ccda conference was wonderful. here's a picture from the airplane to hold you over...

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(*sorry, i accidentally deleted these photos off of flickr, so you'll just have to use your imagination... whoops!)

this morning i woke up to the sounds of a rousing rendition of the song 'low rider.'  i immediately thought, 'whoa... how late did i sleep in' (knowing that the logan high school marching band doesn't usually practice outside until the afternoon), but i looked at the clock and sure enough it was only coming up on 9:30.  so i went outside to see what was going on and they were set-up downtown playing, in uniform.  i went down to see what was going on and found myself in the middle of a growing group of state bureaucrats.  the governor was in town and they were dedicating the empty lot of the old pioneer hotel to the state for the construction of a new 5-story office building.  the band played a diverse assortment of songs until the speeches started including things like 'my girl,' 'the hey song,' 'the theme from blues brothers,' the school fight song, and 'ain't no mountain high enough.'  it was pretty entertaining in the context of a governor's speech.  after they played, by all witnessed accounts, the band did not care at all what any of the politicians had to say, they waited patiently for it to end and gave one final song.  i know a lot of kids in the marching band so it was fun to see them all down there.  most of them saw me and waved.  nu-era (the greatest doughnut manufacturers in the world) supplied some of their wares for the occasion, so after the festivities i served as the breakfast foods liaison to the marching band and supplied them with the energy to go back to school.  (i guess they had been told they weren't allowed to take the doughnuts themselves by the band director).  the speeches were actually pretty interesting.

you may recognize the site of the new building from a few months ago. this is the tent that was set-up today...

...and this is the same lot during the freedom festival. yes, that's the tiger cage.  and although the lot was full of politicians today, it wasn't as much of a circus as it was that day in july. (plus joe never jumped through any hoops in order to get a "meat treat." although if you want to carry that on into the figurative world, i'm sure there's some kind of connection.)  npr was there also, taking pictures and recording the speeches.  i asked the photographer and he said they were from d.c and were covering the election someway or another and they picked logan (?) i don't know what they're doing but i guess joe and logan could end up on the national news.

and interesting way to start the day.

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kelly and heather, the new youthworks area and regional directors over west virginia left today.  they were here for a few days getting acquainted with their new sites and their new friends.  it was nice to get to know them better and to be able to show them around logan and mingo counties, introducing them to some of my friends who they would be working with.  through the weekend i was reminded of a few things that i have learned: (1) God takes time; His own sweet, perfect time.  and usually my american-bred self doesn't like that. luckily, i have a new identity now which has a fundamental characteristic of patience.  (if only i could remind myself of that more often).  i'm not sure exactly what all the necessary steps are going to be to get to the ultimate vision God has given me for logan, but i know that they will take time and that there are worse things that could happen. my plans are always changing, but there is only one way that is right, that i am seeking [prov. 16:9]. (1b) being alone, i have to always be on guard against falling into apathy or indifference. when times are tough (or in most cases just repetitive), apathy does not equal patience. God is a God of action even though action sometimes consists of a quiet stillness, or a crying out to God (something i have have not been brought up or socialized to appreciate) [1 sam. 7:8, psalm 34:17, psalm 57:2]. (2) the Church is beautiful.  seeing it work together for the good of the Kingdom is amazing, and i'm glad i got to see people this weekend so willing to help the Church.  God brought so many improbable events together to help kelly and heather meet the people they needed to meet, and everyone seemed excited about being a part of this weird thing called the Church [ephesians 1:15-23, 4:1-7]. (3) God is good and life is simple.  not easy, but simple.  things get hard and motivation waxes and wanes with the circumstances, but God is always good.  and life is about responding to Him [acts 20:18-24].

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(newsletters are going out, check your mail.  i noticed, however, while i was writing them that many of you are pretty unacquainted with what exactly is going on. so expect a photo tour soon!)

things are just trucking along, and seeing as how i'm not sure how fast that truck is supposed to be going, it seems pretty good to me.  i am delving into some crazy legal documents to learn about becoming an unincorporated non-profit association. and honing in on a real schedule and curriculum for a camp this summer.  there are a lot of loose ends, and lots of things that will take a long time to complete (like applying for 501(c)3 status, which they say could take up to 12 months or longer!) but, God is so good.  please pray that i would be able to continually yield control of the journey to Him, because i know that He will get it done in the time it needs to be completed.  i'm just trusting in His timing right now.

in the mean time, if anyone knows a nice lawyer who wants to do some pro bono work for a guy in west virginia (namely, me...) let me know!

i'll be trying to send out a newsletter at the beginning of october, so keep an eye out for it.

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(the trees are starting to change colors and i am so excited that it's fall!)

Study: Vessels: Salt (2008)

this piece is part of a new series i am working on in conjunction with the "light" series from the same section in matthew. for a long time i was never really sure what "you are the salt of the earth" [matthew 5:13] meant. and i'd be egotistical to say that i understand it all now, but I am slowly starting to understand. this series, along with the light series, are to explore the implications of these two important "you are" statements that Jesus makes about His people.

this piece was also accepted to be shown at the 2008 CCDA conference in miami (october 22-26) as part of a show surrounding the conference theme of "shalom." it will be displayed with the works of many other artists from around the country (and maybe even the continent!)

things got really crazy toward the end of the summer and i feel like i'm just now catching up (finally!) at the beginning of august, john came for a visit! it was so good (and relaxing) to have him here for the weekend. the youthworks staff left to go back to their normal lives, but i followed them up to pittsburgh to help with the end of summer retreat and hang out with jess and belinda (area and regional directors over west virginia) before they went off on their new adventures as well. right after that, i drove over to canton to visit for a day and came back home to logan. i wasn't even here for a week before i got a late-night phone call from alissa that hayden carter (one of the boys from the small group i co-led in murfreesboro, and a friend as close as a little brother) had died suddenly in a car wreck. the next morning i drove down there to spend the week with friends and family. after the weekend of the funeral, alissa came up to visit for a few days. this last week was the first in a while i might describe as "normal" (maybe... if there is such a thing!)
in the midst of all of this chaos (including many hard days and hard nights) God has been so faithful. one night last week i felt like i should give up on just about everything, maybe move somewhere else and not tell anybody where. it was awful. but from every broken seed, God brings beautiful growth; and the next day, He blew new breath into me and showed me part of His vision for logan.
so, right now, i'm working on the details of an arts-based summer camp/workshop (or to avoid the community-center fiasco, lets just call it a "thing"!) to provide under-served students in logan with an outlet for all the awful things our society has thrown onto them. i believe that the arts are healing (they have been for me, and many others i know); and that, as God is the Creator, we also, being made in His image, are to be creators and not destroyers. (it's good for you, try it!) as usual, i really don't know what this is going to look like. but, i'm trying to get in contact with some people who are doing similar things around the country to get some basics down. please pray that God would continue to speak about His desires for logan and the students here. please pray that He would send workers when the time is right (and, of course, funds...). and PLEASE keep praying for hayden's family and friends.

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the skies have been beautiful here lately; these photos are from thursday...

a whole lot has been happening, and it's all been wonderful. God is so great, and He's been choosing to show me that over and over since i got here. some of you got an e-mail about the building previously mentioned in this post. i met with the owners on friday, and they showed me around the inside (which, honestly didn't have much to show because the building is just two huge empty rooms right on top of each other. which, although not entirely interesting, is just perfect for a community center!). they had the power turned off while it's vacant so these are the only pictures i could get of the first floor (the top floor has no windows, so there were no pictures to be taken...notice the hot pink paint job!)

the owners were really nice and even though they had told me there was another person looking at the building, they seemed more interested in helping me than selling it to him to start a clothing store (previous incarnations of this building have included a theater, a bingo hall, and a retail store). the building is 9000 sqare feet total (two 45' by 100' rooms) and everything seems to be in good shape; it has separate commercial air conditioning for each floor (top floor is brand new), it has drop ceilings already to aid with energy conservation and efficiency, it's asbestos free (vinyl floor tiles), and it appears to be very structurally sound (all steel and concrete consturction, no cracks as far as i could see). this is way earlier than i expected to be thinking about obtaining a building. in fact, a lot of the programming and other planning questions are still up in the air, but God has opened up this door now, so i am walking through it.

but, as i said, everything is moving very quickly. and as i've been thinking about it, i continue to wonder who's will is being enacted. this hit me really hard on monday, so this week i have effectually "started over." what i mean is, i have felt the need to really strip all the stigma and labels and descriptions off of this vision God has given me (which never really did a great job at describing what i could feel in my heart) and to try and repaint the vision with more adequate words. because, what has happened (or what i feel like has happened) is that i've been using these words ("community center," "youth center," etc.) to try and describe what God has told me to do because i honestly don't know the right words to use to fully describe it. so, in the process, this has clouded, cluttered, and (quite possibly) high-jacked the pure, original vision that God gave. it's like when we use the words "awesome," "wonderful," "great," or "amazing" to try and describe God after we've just used them to describe a taco, a vacation, a movie, or whatever. we use them because we know what they mean and we feel a little bit of that, to a greater scale, when we experience God. but they will never be able to fully describe God. and, i think, when we do this, we take away some of His majesty by removing His indescribable-ness from our minds (though we have little choice besides not saying anything at all!). in this same way, i feel like i've sold His vision for me a little short by placing unfair walls around it with the words i have used. so, i am praying for clarity and for words to be able to share the wonder i feel in my heart with all of you, and to even be able to understand it enough to know where to start. please join me in praying! pray that we would not quench the wonder of God's plans for us with the barriers of our own minds. pray that there would be hope for the youth in a place that sometimes seems without hope. pray that our hearts would truly understand that our minds could never understand the wholeness of God. just pray! and we will see His will be done!

::

after my first round of meetings, things are looking really good. God is so faithful in bringing to completion the work He has started in us [philippians 1:6]! after the meeting with the family resource network (a group that basically compiles information about other organizations and make that information available to families in need of assistance) i sat and talked with the director, shannon meade, for quite a while. we dreamed about solutions for the youth of our community and discussed some opportunities for them to both serve and be served at the same time. it was great to see her heart for logan, and get some input from someone who has lived here for much longer than me. the p.i.e.c.e.s. meeting (a group that focuses on drug abuse prevention) was a lot more formal. things were being reviewed, passed and voted on, but it was so great to see that there are people in logan county who are concerned about their neighbors, these issues and doing their best to affect their community in a positive way. p.i.e.c.e.s. was interesting also because it is a group of both Christians and non-Christians united for a common goal (although there is a pastor's meeting beforehand). it really is a beautiful thing, but it's sad to see people who don't even know God caring more for their family, friends and neighbors than the Christians around them often do [luke 10:25-37]. i've been talking and meeting with lots of people and have even more coming up.
i think i'm about ready to write up a solid plan and a mission statement, as most conversations are revealing similar needs, so i was researching some from similar organizations across the country today.
it still is and will always be a big part of my job to dream, and i like that. if you'd like to join in, feel free!
this year, kids' club has been especially full of older kids; some even appear to be as old as sophomores or juniors in high school. it breaks my heart to know why they're there, but i'm glad they are. emily loves them.
we had our Bible study and prayer meetings today at the church, and both went for almost 2 hours. one of the biggest strengths of the body here at new covenant is that they are truly prayer warriors. i'm learning a lot about expectant and passionate prayer just by being around. the meeting tonight was extraordinary.
in other news, someone on the hill was moving out today and they were trying to bring this huge 24 or 26 foot u-haul up the hill. it took a few tries but we were able to help them make the turn with minimal damage to the truck and the street. on the return trip, however, the street was not so lucky... whoops!

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the freedom festival was this weekend (july 3-5) in downtown logan. there was a lot going on.

there were talent shows, live music, and a magic show (in true arrested development form) on the main stage by the courthouse

there were all kinds of booths selling all kinds of things lining the streets

there were puppets teaching us two very important lessons:
1) lessons are nice, but money is better (buy a dvd!)(at least they told the kids it was okay if their parents said "no"), and...

...2) it's okay to take candy from weird looking strangers as long as they're crazy

there was a parade, which i like because they are, of course, really the only time you can feel good about eating candy off the ground (hey, it's always better than crazy strangers, right?)

(me enjoying said candy)

tyler was there!

there was a booth selling realistic looking fake cigarettes to small children (3 for $1). i actually thought, along with all those around me, some kid was smoking a real one from a short distance (tan filters, glowing red ends, and they really blow smoke...). probably an unneccesary precaution by the cigarette companies in the state with the 3rd highest percentage of smoking adults in the nation. (thanks to the one and only maria roberts for modeling them for me.)

there was a "tigers of the world show" where a crocadile-hunter-esque man made sad-looking tigers do things they didn't want to do. this is the cage where they performed. i wasn't too excited about it, so i didn't watch. apparently he almost got eaten. i wonder if that's why... hmm...

and there were crazy spinny carnival rides. the guy in the black shirt looked like he was going to loose it as soon as the ride started. it was sad watching him spin helplessly in circles. i must admit i used to love these things in middle school, now i generally try to avoid them.

it was nice to know that i live here now as i wandered through the streets. i saw lots of teenagers and just kept wishing i had a place to invite them. it was good to remember that once the summer's over, i'll still be here because of them. i'm so anxious to get things going, i've got to keep myself in check. as i was telling john on the phone yesterday, i've always got to be sure i'm preparing the way for God's kingdom and not my own. especially when i want something really bad, like an awesome building on the corner of stratton and dingess.

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tonight was pretty crazy. it was the last night of the freedom festival here in logan (more on that later...) and three of the staff from the youthworks site in lincoln county came down to hang out with the logan staff for the night. one of them is this guy, alex. we were all hanging out by the crazy nausea-inducing spinny rides that no carnival/festival would be complete without; and he asked me my story, so i told him as we walked over to the gas station to get some regularly-priced refreshments. on the way up to the church to watch the fireworks, i asked him about his, and boy did he tell me. both of our stories start very similarly, but the turning point is different. in mine, God used a recurring dream to call me to Him. in his, God gave him a vision. he continued to tell me all the things God had brought him through, all the temptations and trials, mistakes and mess-ups, to the point where he finally could surrender his life completely over to Jesus. and, he continued to tell me about his adventures with the Holy Spirit since that day. God has given him a wonderful gift of prophetic knowledge. he told me after the story that when he met me he saw that God was going to do great things through me here, and saw the love of God shining through me as i spoke to some teens downtown tonight. he said they were so attracted to Jesus in me. and he said he knew God was going to bless my ministry here in logan and the number 20 popped in his head. i've known and believed all of this, but after these first few weeks of feeling kind of task-less, i needed to hear it again. i could feel the Spirit flowing through me as he spoke these words to me, and He refreshed me. we were talking the whole time the fireworks were going off. God is so amazing.

my first community meeting is wednesday at 10:30. pray for me. it's going to be awesome.

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something to ponder on the 4th of july

who is your Lord? who is your Savior? who is your Redeemer?
to whom do you belong?

God or Caesar?

- [exodus 20:3]
- [1 corinthians 6:19-20]

- [matthew 6:24]

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1 corinthians 12:27-31

"[27] All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. [28] Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:

first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

[29] Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? [30] Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! [31] So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts."

-[1 corinthians 12:27-31]

i have never been much for denominational differences. don't get me wrong, i am constantly gaining a love for the Christian tradition and the many different ways we, as a Body, have found to worship our Creator, but the damage done by the divisions will eventually outweigh the good.

i love hymns, a gift from the liturgical churches, i think it's so amazing to be able to sing the same words to the same tune that Christians for hundreds of years have sung; i also love 'contemporary' praise songs, a pretty recent gift from the mainline church, i think the energy and excitment conveyable through them is unmatched by hymns because people who sing hymns sing like they're bored. i also love gospel choir music ('nuff said!).
i love to take notes when i hear the preacher get up and start to speak, a mostly white church thing, it helps me focus and learn better; i also love it when i can't pick up a pen because i am enthralled by the passion of the speaker and the interest of the congregation, an event typical in the black church.
i love to see the Spirit move visibly, as in a pentacostal church; and love to see people quiety contemplating God, as typical of most other churches.

the problem is, we are so opposed to accepting the gifts other denominations have to offer into our own congregations and these gifts stay centralized and polarized.

i used to attend a charismatic youth group on wednesday nights in high school. i went because the worship was amazing (my 'main church' was united methodist, but i couldn't tell you half of the theological differences). everyone in that room was seeking God, and you could feel it. there were many times when people were driven to their knees, arms stretched in worship, or down right 'slain in the Spirit' to use some insider jargon (knocked down by the powerful presence of God's Holy Spirit). most nights, someone would speak in tounges. i longed for this spiritual gift, because it was so cool to me. i felt as though i was really missing out on something big. the church there preached a separate baptism in the Holy Spirit to receive such gifts (from the text in acts 2) (now, i believe that we receive the Holy Spirit when we believe in Christ, it's a package deal, and so is the baptism ("...in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...") ala galatians 3), so one night i went to meet with someone from the church to have them pray over me and baptize me in the Holy Spirit. my heart was expectant and my mind was believing, and he prayed over me for a long time, and then i prayed as well, i wanted so badly for there to be evidence by speaking in tongues, but it never happened. i was dissappointed and wanted an answer so i started to read up. i was being taught from a one-sided theology. i read the passage above along with 1 corinthians 14 and i began to understand. paul says that not only will everyone not speak in tongues, but that other Spiritual gifts are much more useful, and that we should desire those that are most beneficial to the body. i saw that teaching, leadership and service were all gifts from the Spirit as well and useful to the body, i saw where paul says it might be better for those who speak in tongues to stay quiet during church if there's no one there to interpret, and i began to seek out the gifts that i had been given.

[finally a point!] i began to see that the church i attended on wednesdays had a corner on the market for people who spoke in tongues, i saw that my 'home church' had a corner on people gifted in service, and i saw that churches like the one i attended in college had a corner on people gifted to teach and my church here in logan had a high percentage of people gifted with faith.

i began to see that that was no good.

we, as human beings, love to gather with people that are similar to us; but We, as the Church, have just ended up with one church that is full of hands, and another that is full of feet [1 corinthians 12:12-26] to be the Body that God envisions for His People we MUST get over ourselves. we must not be content being around a bunch of like-minded ears forever [v.17]. it is our diversity that makes us strong in our testimony as a community and proclomation to the world. our differences cause us to dicuss, to defend our beliefs (in turn learning what we really believe), and to discover what's really important. they teach us how to truly love others by loving people we don't always agree with. our diversity keeps us credible.

the Church is sick. we are divided.

::

i know, i know, it's been a long time, and a lot has happened. i have a p.o. box, a west virginia license, a bank account, everything. I had to move from the annex, to room in the church last week because a mission team was in that needed to use the annex for sleeping, i moved back at the beginning of this week, but on the way my computer fell to the ground and now the bottom row of letters doesn't work. i can't use zxcvbnm,. or /. so it's been a little while until i could find another computer to use. the youthworks staff is letting me use their office... they're so sweet!
well, i recently got some contacts from tyler cannon's mom, robin, and she gave me a few meetings to attend to meet some local pastors and community leaders. one is with the P.R.I.D.E. in Logan County group's Family Resource Network which is focused mainly on children and the elderly, and the other is with a drug prevention group called P.I.E.C.E.S. (prevention is everyone's concern, especially schools!) so i'm really excited, as they sound right down my alley. i also have taken the opportunity to dream big and have my eyes on a building... this one:

it's on the corner of dingess st. and stratton st., the prime location in town, and has been empty for years and years. i have some phone calls to make tomorrow and am going to inquire about a price someday. i'll let you know how scary it is when i find out.

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i'm actually here. its pretty strange. when i'm just sitting around, i all of a sudden remember that i live here now. this morning i woke up and walked outside and i saw this...


...and thought, "i live here now." it's pretty cool to live somewhere.
yesterday when i got here, i pretty much just settled myself in and went to get dinner at taco bell. then i stayed up until about 12:30 playing guitar and worshiping. i could barely sleep last night, my mind was just racing, and kept waking me up. i couldn't even make it until 8:00 this morning, i was up and ready to go. i couldn't even focus to pray or read anything either, so i just played and worshiped more. finally i went out to try and set up a p.o. box and a bank account. i got the post office and they wanted a driver's license and a voter registration card. i went to city hall to get a voter registration card and they wanted a piece of mail with my address on it. i went to the bank to set up an account and they wanted a west virginia driver's license, proof of physical address (read: mail), and proof of a mailing address (read: more mail). so basically my day is a bust, because i know the dmv will want proof of physical address too, and the title of my car needs to get switched before i can get license plates for it and i have to get it inspected before i can get the plates too. surprisingly, health insurance was the easiest to get out of all of them. they sent the card the other day and it should be here soon. mail. the first key to the puzzle. all this and it's only 11 in the morning.

::

romans 7-8

i have been going through mark section by section, but the other day i just felt really dead in my sins, so i took a trip over to romans looking for the "no condemnation" verse. i felt so awful because i continue to desire to get better, but my flesh never changes. i wanted to be able to remember who i am in Christ.
romans 1-8 is basically a long continuous argument that paul is having with himself, making a statement and then making another defending against the first counter-argument he can think of. so it just kind of flows and rambles. it's toward the end of this where he asks, "did that which is good (the law) then bring death to me?" [romans 7:13] and begins to talk about always doing the opposite of what he wants to do. he says if he does what he does not want then it is no longer him who is actually doing it, but the sin that dwells in him [v. 20]. that he delights in the law in his inner being, but sees his flesh following another law which is waging war with the law in his mind; making him a captive to the law of sin that dwells in his body [v. 22-23]. but then says that because of all of this there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus [8:1]. and goes on talking about how if you set you mind on flesh you will recieve death but if you set your mind on the Spirit you will receive life and peace [v.6] and discusses being "in the flesh" and "in the Spirit". and i wonder how with all this war within us and our bodies still being a captive to the law of sin we can have absolutely no condemnation come upon us. and it seems that the key is in the mind. as stated earlier he says the law of his mind and the law of his flesh are at war [7:23] and that those that set their minds on the Spirit will receive life and peace [8:6] and later in romans he tells us that we should no longer be conformed to the patterns of this world but rather, through the renewing of our minds, we should be transformed into the Will of God [12:2]. somehow these two kingdoms, one of a decaying flesh and the other of a refreshing God, live side-by-side with eachother in our earthly bodies, constantly at war with one another. it seems the only release from this tension is death. and though we are constantly in this struggle, our fleshes forever belonging to the world, our minds and spirits have been renewed and replaced by the Holy Spirit, giving us evidence of our salvationin the we can not stand our own actions.
this is why when we realize this dichotomy within ourselves, we groan for completion with the rest of creation [8:22-23]. enduring the pain of not being able to control our own selves and eagerly awaiting the day when this war within us will end. but we are not without help; these first fruits [8:23] include patience to endure and self-control [galatians 5:22-23].

::

time moves so fast. i just got here (canton) on thursday and already it's almost time to leave. thursday i'll be in logan, finished with the final leg of my traveling journey, just beginning the first leg of my living one. it's pretty surreal. i'd say that on that scale we made last week it probably ranks somewhere between graduation and leaving murfreesboro, closer to graduation though. i am so excited and so over-whelmed. this is so huge, and it's so awesome.

::

God never stops teaching. in fact, to even think He would when i was only 21 would be ridiculous. anyway, God's been teaching me how to mess up better these last few months.
four years ago, when i came to mtsu for the first time, i looked around for a church for a whole semester, finally landing at this little baptist church on the corner of campus where some of my new-found friends were going. while we were there, the pastor did everything he could to to accommodate us as college students. everything from staying up late to lock up after we'd been there on a weeknight to standing up to his deacons, putting his job on the line, to protect our place in their church family.
two years ago, after all but one of those friends graduated and moved away, i decided to leave. but i didn't tell anybody... i just left and never went back. not even giving the man who had done so much for me a simple "goodbye".
ever since then, it has weighed heavily on my heart. i felt awful for the longest time. i knew that God had drawn me away from that church to another one in the area, and that i was now at the right place to give myself away to a group of teenagers. but i had left so badly.
two saturdays ago, i was sending out some letters to announce my graduation and to ask for support through prayer for my move to logan, and felt it was time to do something about it. i wrote a letter to the pastor and put it in an envelope with a copy of this other letter and taped it to the door of the church. then sunday, i went back. i was so scared of what his reaction would be because i knew i had messed up. after the service, we got to talk and catch up, and it was wonderful. i must've apologized a dozen times in the letter, but in person, it was like those words didn't even cut it to explain what i felt. but he did not require anything of me. it was as though it was all old news. a marvelous picture of God's mercy on us.
God is teaching me the dire importance of reconciliation. his people cannot continue to be divided by petty differences, deep hurts and denominational boundaries. or as paul wrote:

"[12]For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. [13]For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. [14]For the body does not consist of one member but of many. [15]If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. [16]And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. [17]If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? [18]But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. [19]If all were a single member, where would the body be? [20]As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.
[21]The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." [22]On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, [23]and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, [24]which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, [25]that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. [26]If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together."

-[1 corinthians 12:12-26]

"[4] For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. [5] There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, [6] and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all."

-[ephesians 4:4-6]

::

today is the day. i start the first leg of my journey to logan this evening, but it won't be north-east, it'll be south-west. i'm going to my parents' house in jackson, tennessee for a few days, because they usually like to see me every once in a while. it's weird for this part of my life (in murfreesboro) to finally be over. it doesn't really feel like it yet, kind of like it didn't really feel like i actually graduated. for a few weeks afterward i kept expecting them to tell me i had to come back, but the only thing they sent me was a diploma. this, of course feels a lot more like i'm leaving for real than it felt like i really graduated... so if you're keeping track, you can create a little feelings scale to measure future events to. you're so craft-y.

::

hey everybody,
this is my new blog page for information about the brand new adventure God is taking me on to west virginia.
as God's story is very long, so is the part of it that chronicles my journey logan (not relatively, of course). God has been working in my life to prepare me for this step in my life basically since my life began on this earth. but, that story would be very long (not relatively, of course) and most likely send some of you to sleep early tonight. so i won't start at the beginning.
the summer after my junior year in high school, my youth group went on a missions trip to west hamlin, west virginia through an organization called YouthWorks!. my first summer of college (2005), i found out that one of my friends from that very same youth group was applying for a summer staff position with YouthWorks! and told me i should to. I didn't have anything to do that summer and wanted to do something more fruitful than flipping burgers somewhere, so i did. i come to find out that summer from the girl who interviewed me, and later just so happened to be my area director (read: boss), that if the recruiting department didn't pray over the applications, i probably would not have been hired (read: i was not an ideal candidate). that summer i got placed in chattanooga, tennessee. The next two summers i was placed in logan. i would have never heard of the place had i not been hired the first summer, which was not of my own merit.
after this last summer (2007), i was really struggling hard with what to do after school, and spending two summers in logan had opened my eyes to a lot of the hurt and need going on in the community. i had been toying with the idea of maybe moving there... maybe...
then one day, alissa and i were wandering around nashville handing out lunches to some homeless people and we came upon this guy in a wheel chair (glen) who was with a friend (tc). we had two left so we offered them to them. they were happy to oblige. we were making small talk when glen said to us something along the lines of, "You guys are with God, huh? I can tell." well this caught our attention. we sat with him and his friend and listened as he told us stories of his life and how he relies on God everyday to take care of him. we sat and listened for quite a while, and after maybe half an hour glen turned to me and said, "God just gave me a message for you." i must admit that i was skeptical and a little amused; i wanted to hear what he had to say. he handed me his Bible and told me to open to mark chapter 11, verses 23 and 24, and to read it aloud. i did. and as i did, my attitude changed, because i knew that God was speaking to me. it says,

"Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours."

i knew right away that God wanted me in logan, as it was the desire of my heart to serve his people there. i'm not saying this means if you ask for a purple pony for christmas and really believe in your heart that you'll get it, then you'll find one with a bow on it eating your tree on christmas morning. that's stupid. God can do anything. If the desires of His heart are the desires of your heart, he can manifest your most outrageous dream about fulfilling those desires into reality.
God still speaks today. God still wants to use you in part of His marvelous story. our stories are His story.
i had been praying that God would send someone to take care of His people in logan. He finally showed me i had been praying for myself.

::

Captured - 2008

this is my most recent work, it goes along with Vessels (2008) as part of the Light series i am working on. this one can still pull from [2 corinthians 4:7] but leans more toward [matthew 5:14-16].

Garden Tools: Nunchucks, Spear & Throwing Stars - 2008

This is the combined presentation of the previous three pieces (Hoe, Pruning Hook, and Tiller) as a set.

Pruning Hook - 2008; Tiller - 2008

Pruning Hook - 2008

Tiller - 2008

same concept, more pieces!
i seem to be interested in martial arts weaponry... i think because i find the weapons from that time and place to be so creative, and i wish that we could be as creative in our methods toward peace.

Hoe - 2008

this piece is based on two nearly identical sections of scripture from the prophets micah and isaiah:

[1]It shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the house of the LORD shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and it shall be lifted up above the hills; and peoples shall flow to it, [2]and many nations shall come, and say:"Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths."For out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. [3]He shall judge between many peoples, and shall decide for strong nations far away; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore; [4] but they shall sit every man under his vine and under his fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid, for the mouth of the LORD of hosts has spoken. [5]For all the peoples walk each in the name of its god, but we will walk in the name of the LORD our God forever and ever.

- [micah 4:1-5]

[2]It shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the house of the LORD shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be lifted up above the hills; and all the nations shall flow to it,[3] and many peoples shall come, and say: "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths." For out of Zion shall go the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.[4] He shall judge between the nations, and shall decide disputes for many peoples; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.
[5]O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the LORD.

- [isaiah 2:2-5]

Vessels - 2008

this piece included a happy accident. it wasn't quite coming together as i wanted and i was mounting it to make sure the location was good, it wasn't and the day after i put it up to review, it pulled itself out of the wall and smashed into pieces. I was relieved though, it was one of those things where i didn't want to take it apart because it was almost done, but it really needed it, and i was able to put it back together better, and make it a stronger overall piece.
Vessels is based on [2 corinthians 4:7] which says,

[6]For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. [7]But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

and [Matthew 5:14-16] which says,

[14]"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. [15] Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. [16]In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."