as i have been diligently ignoring the fact that i have a blog, many things have been happening. the most in my face one being that i only have a few weeks left in logan, west virginia. it seems weird but true nonetheless. this friday (a week from today) i am hopping on a train and going to get my lovely bride-to-be from south dakota via jess's wedding in chicago. and when we get back east of the mississippi, she'll be helping me to move out of new covenant and we'll be driving back to murfreesboro to live in the same town for the couple months before we get married. it's going to be incredible to have my very best friend at my fingertips; to be able to call her on the phone with the objective of spending time together in person; to be able to just watch her exist in front of me; to see her more often than once every few months. it's sad to be leaving logan but there are many many people who were there long before me and will be there long after me who will be continuing the work they started a long time ago, and let me join with them in for a short while. alissa and i are still trying to discern where it is we will be moving after the wedding, but it's really not that important right now (although some may think otherwise) we have lots of time. and the only thing that matters to us is that wherever we are, we'll have eachother.

one of the hardest things for us right now is the thought that what we're doing (moving to tennessee for a couple months before the wedding) seems almost selfish. it's the first major action either of us has taken in a while that's only for oursleves. this move is for our good, and the good of our relationship. and at the same time we are both leaving places where we (at least try) to exist everyday for other people. we talked about this today and i think the weird thing is that our move is for another, and in these upcoming months we will be learning more than ever how to exist for another: our spouse. it's going to take a mental shift to remember that a calling to love your spouse is a calling to love another, and maybe more than any other relationship it is a call to selflessness; an exodus out of selfishness, the thing that we both desire; this is a prime way to experience and grow in it. the problem is that i can't help but enjoy the benefit i receive from loving my almost-wife better, and therefore i have to fight the thought that this is a selfish desire. i have to fight the presumption that giving is always a burden and never a joy, and that i should somehow be more sad about pouring love into my wife. (thirteen weeks, five days!)

please pray for us as we work to let Christ change our mindsets and our priorities, and as we continue to seek His guidance and direction.

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